Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is my gift to your gina
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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