omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
