Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
