No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
