Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Can I color on your dick again?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
