I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
