are you so shy because you have an std?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
