so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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