awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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