I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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