I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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