we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize