Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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