Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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