We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
