You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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