I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
