Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
