there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
