does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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