i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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