My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
