would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
