Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This baby is an asshole
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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