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remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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