I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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