the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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