therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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