O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
