After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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