I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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