Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
