Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
