she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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