she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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