Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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