i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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