Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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