Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
