Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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