jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
