doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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