he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
