Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Damn victory sex feels great
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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