uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
