Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize