Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
