Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dick very happy bro
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
