what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
