Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize