do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
