Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.

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(303): View more from Colorado

high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.

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(559): View more from California

I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex

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(318): View more from Louisiana

There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape

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(562): View more from California

Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.

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(805): View more from California

Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.

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(442): View more from California

I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass

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