I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
