shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
