please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I won the penis lottery.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
