I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
