I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
