My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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