I'm jealous of your bromance
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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