Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
