Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
