I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think i have two assholes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
