she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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