omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize