Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just found puke in my bra..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Also, beer. Big fan.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
