I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
