Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
