she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
