I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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