She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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