Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
