oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
