Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
