There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He passed out mid-signature
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
