oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
