So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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