I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
