Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
