That's when you crack a 10am beer
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
