the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
