HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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