Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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