I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
