Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
